Why risk your life as a journalist?

CRASH. Blurry visions of dust, broken glasses, and what seems like a group of militants surround you. You just had an accident. 

You open your eyes, walk out, and breathe in the air of being alive; the feel of avoiding death by a second. As your vision starts to become more vivid, you see a policeman looking at you. With dead eyes, he walks 3 steps forward and casually crouches with his gun. The last thing you see is a strong beam of yellow light with a loud bang. You just survived death to be killed again. 

The incident I am describing happened in a video that popped up on my Twitter wall a few minutes ago. There wasn’t much context to the video except that it happened in Palestine and was a case of extreme police brutality in an ongoing conflict zone. 

As an aspiring Journalist, this sent shivers down my spine. My future profession will most likely revolve around going to the most dangerous of places: at massive protests where I could be hit by a random stone, at terrorist sites where my home can be bombed at any time, at places with high crime rates where I can be stabbed. Journalists like Jagendra Singh have been beaten and burned alive by the police, many were buried alive during the Maoist Revolution in Nepal, journalists who have been mutilated, beheaded, and whatnot. The world isn't safe and most of us are too busy in our world of illusions to see it.

As an incoming freshman at a Journalism school, I am opting into a lifestyle full of chaos, risks, and uncertainty. I am trading off the comfort of a lavish office where I could have a nice home, stable relationships, and security. I am writing this because I fear that I am not strong enough for this i.e I feel that I am not willing enough to take a bullet for the greater good. I am not sure if I am the kind of person who can make large sacrifices. 

We often see the world in numbers. 23 killed in an accident, 32342 people died in a war. When faced with the chaos and absurdities of the world, our entire existence gets squandered into numbers. I fear that I will be one of those numbers. I think so far I have been living a really meaningful life. I am been working hard on myself; building relationships, putting in the effort, always learning something new, breaking my comfort zones, etc. I have higher dreams in life. I want to travel, have a big home, party with my homies, get old, have kids and raise them, pursue music, and so on. I fear that all of this could die and I could just be a number to the world. A journalist who got killed in an event no one cares about. 

So, why should I risk my life? Why did journalists who did so do it? Why do you pursue a job where you are constantly attacked, imprisoned, harassed, blackmailed, threatened, tortured, and killed? Why do you pursue a profession where you have one of the highest potentials to do good for the world and its people but are paid in nickels that barely meet the end? Why aren’t they given the benefits that CEOs of companies who often sabotage people’s life receive? 

I think one possible answer to this that I can think of right now is that a fight is not easy. The best things in life come the hard way. In this context, finding the truth is not easy. The people who try to hide the truth do it so that they can benefit from it. These people who can curb reality for their personal benefits are unimaginably powerful. Therefore, they will interfere when someone tries to take away that power from them. It’s a fight and fighting is not easy. However, the harder a thing is to achieve, the better it gets when you achieve it. People risk their lives to tell a story because they know the story is worth it. They know it because what matters to them is that particular story —  the change that they are bringing in this world. Risking your life merely becomes a small issue now. 

Furthermore, I think the process as a whole carries with it an important element that makes all of this worth it: the rays of hope and good you can emit in the world. Yes, going to war zones and covering attacks is risky, but when you do so, you help the people that the world is ignoring. You bring their stories to the world and give them a tiny ray of hope when the world is covered with dark clouds. You try to save the lives of the children who are being bombed and gunned down at the corners of the world. You can bring smiles to the faces of the most victimized and vulnerable through your camera and papers. I think this is the trade-off; that at the end you can sleep with the belief that you haven't surrendered yourself to the chaos of the world. That you are constantly battling because you see the light and you can bring the light.

So, am I strong enough for this? No. But do I want a meaningful life? Yes. I don’t think I can get them inside the comfort of cubicle boxes. I have made a promise to myself to explore the world, and for it, I have to grow up. It’s not easy and that’s the point. I will not let the world do its trick on me. I will rebel.